I write legal textbooks that include discrimination, diversity and inclusion as a focus, and I speak and write on the issues, so I try to keep up with what’s going on in those areas.  In cleaning out my inbox just now, I came across an article I had saved for later reading earlier this week.  It was about two University of Virginia professors resigning in protest from a UVA think tank because a former Trump staffer was hired.  They believed that the hiring went against the basic mission and values of the organization.  I understood their position and applaud them for it.

But, what I  reacted to was the mention that the National Rifle Association was now headed by Oliver North.

My visceral reaction surprised me enough to take to my blog tho I have other pressing matters with which to deal.

My stomach is in knots.

Where are we?  What world am in?  What country?  I am so truly confused.

For me to even notice a physical reaction says a lot.  You don’t do the work I do, keep up with the issues I keep up with day in and day out, with a thin skin.  You can’t. It takes an incredible amount of resilience to dwell in the space of discrimination and diversity issues, especially when you belong to more than one of the traditional group that is routinely involved.  You have to have it to keep going and do what you can to change things, otherwise you’re useless.

But, I swear, seeing that man’s name as the head of the NRA had that visceral impact.

What?!  OLIVER NORTH?!  Heading up the NRA?!!!

What quickly came to mind was that this was like if Hitler had lived, later putting him in charge of social welfare programs.  It’s not an exact comparison, but in my head as a first reaction, close enough.

When you think Oliver North, you can’t help but think Iran-Contra affair.  I remember day after day after day picking my daughters up from elementary school in 1986, and ’87, and it being on the radio. The Internet was not a “thing” yet, nor was cable TV, so whatever was on offer on the radio or TV was what you had to deal with.  Hearing about it was unavoidable. Secretly arranging for arms, the discovery, the cover up, the Congressional testimony of the deal, questions about whether President Reagan knew. Being charged then let go because of legal issues. We hadn’t witnessed anything like it since Watergate held us in its grasp.  I wasn’t even that into it, but you couldn’t avoid it.  It was huge, and a real blot on the Reagan administration.     It was a huge, huge deal.  You think Oliver North, you think Iran-Contra and arming the rebels.  And this wasn’t even the part, apparently coming to light later, about the original deal being to distribute drugs in America to raise the funds to pay for the guns because there was no budget for them.

And he’s now heading up the NRA?

I am so confused.

Whatever common values I thought my country had, whatever common interests have been shattered time and again since the dystopia of the last election campaign began, whatever I may have thought about this all being only a harrowing temporary  detour from sanity that we would right ourselves from and correct our course, I’m no longer sure about.

Knots.  Absolute knots.