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Peaces of My Heart

~ Life gives you the pieces; it's up to you to make the quilt. In the end, "It's ALL about love…"

Peaces of My Heart

Tag Archives: hijab

Doing what you need to do for you—despite the chaos

07 Wednesday Nov 2018

Posted by dawndba in Election Self-Care, Uncategorized

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"cotton pickin', 2018 mid-term election, absentee ballots, blue wave, Brian Kemp, CO abolished unpaid prison labor, don't monkey around, dreams in envelopes, employment laws, FL restored felon voting rights, gay governor, Georgia, hijab, House of Representatives, Jeff Sessions, Latinas, LGBT, long lines, Muslim women, Native American, Oprah, rainbow wave, robo calls, Ron Gillum, Russia investigation, Stacey Abrams, Trump, Van Jones, voter suppression, voting laws, women running for office

I went to bed at 8 p.m.

Yesterday, Tuesday 11/6/2018, was voting day for the 2018 mid-term elections. This has been billed as the most contentious, hard fought mid-term election in ages—maybe ever. It was also one of the most racist, acrimonious ones I can remember. In my own state (Georgia) we have a black female who could make history as the nation’s first black female governor. A black male was running for governor of Florida. After the election of Donald Trump in 2016, women began becoming active in unprecedented numbers, including declaring candidacy for elected positions of all kinds: local, state, federal.  They were all over ballots everywhere. A lot was at stake.

Having experienced our female governor candidate long before she declared for the run, I was ecstatic that she decided to do so. Without having any idea of any political ambitions whatsoever, I quickly realized when I met her that without a doubt, she is, quite simply, awesome. Stacey Abrams is an incredibly bright, intelligent, whip-smart, inclusive, down to earth, caring, experienced, and knowledgeable lawyer-turned-politician who believes in practical solutions.  Working across the aisle as the minority whip in the Georgia legislature was her thing. You may have seen her during the televised 2016 Democratic National Convention when she spoke. I was blessed to be there and see it live as a delegate from Georgia’s 10th Congressional District.  In fact, I’d had the privilege of voting for her to join the delegation as a super delegate.  Evidently, the Democratic Party had recognized her brilliance and gave her a prime speaking berth.  They should have.  She is an utter delight to listen to. She also happens to be black.  That is just a bonus, not a prerequisite for voting for her.  She’d be incredible whatever color she was.  Earlier, she even wrote romance novels.  What’s not to love?  🙂

As it turns out, as a candidate for governor, she was running against a Trump aligned man who billed himself as “politically incorrect,” and whose idea of who we are as a state was doing a TV ad and driving around in a truck that he said he would use to pick up illegal immigrants even if he had to do so himself and saying he owned guns and no one was taking them away. Seriously?  How embarrassing to even be in a state in which someone thinks it is OK to represent a state that way. As far as I was concerned regarding choice, what’s the question?

Turns out, he was also the candidate who just happened to be the secretary of state in charge of voting matters for the state and vigorously enforced some of the most restrictive voting laws around. Eight months after declaring for the governor’s seat, in a single day he purged over half a million people from the voter registration rolls (591,000),  107,000 simply for not having previously voted.  He later threw thousands of  voters off the rolls, 70% of whom were minorities and said to be likely Abrams voters, for small inconsistencies like not having an apostrophe in their name to match some other record. The court had to make him reinstate some of them. A few days before the election, without offering proof, he had his office open an investigation of the Democratic Party of Georgia for trying to hack into his system. Can you spell “CONFLICT OF INTEREST,” people?!

In addition to being concerned about my state’s governor’s race, women running, minorities running, and ballot issues of importance, I was also extremely concerned about the general tenor of the acrimony that had arisen in the wake of Trump’s election in 2016.  I don’t have to go into how much the level of rancor, incivility and out and out violence has risen since then.  It didn’t take much for it to find its way into our elections and make them even uglier than usual.  Race took center stage in some.  Race of the ugliest kind.  “Cotton pickin’,” and “Don’t monkey around,” became unabashed (though, of course, denied) dog whistles used by prominent figures on behalf of those running against blacks.  I’m sorry to say that the former was said about the black Florida governor candidate, Ron Gillum by my state’s former governor, now US Secretary of Agriculture, Sonny Perdue.  Racist robo calls, even invoking Oprah, were used.  Oprah had to respond that “Jesus don’t like ugly….Vote.”

Seriously, y’all?  Are we back to that?

So, as you can imagine (and I am sure I am not alone!) all of that was totally stressing me out.

Some would be able to dismiss all this.  However, much of the work I do is around issues of race, gender, sexual orientation and trying to teach the country to do a better job of hiring based on qualifications for the job rather than immutable characteristics having nothing to do with such things (and is, of course, illegal under our employment protection laws).   In many different ways, I also try to teach those in the world to love each other.  It is is my undying belief that we all have something to offer and things like race, color, gender, religion, national origin, sexual orientation, being other-abled, etc., are simply not a part of the equation that should operate against us.  Period.  Full stop. End of discussion. Living in a world that doesn’t understand this can be stressful, but most of the time I can maintain my equilibrium.

However, with the political stuff taking center stage and being non-stop, and so much of it being around issues I care about, I just needed a break.  I could tell something was truly off because I felt myself craving carbs, my neanderthal brain go-to comfort food. I wanted a fluffy apple fritter and some coffee.

What?!!!!

Last night was going to be insane if I let it.  Watching the election results creep in bit by bit was something I absolutely dreaded.  So much of what I thought about my country, about who we were since 2016, about who my long-time neighbors were when I saw the political signs for dubious candidates in their yards, about the rancor and incivility we seemed poised to normalize, about how low the bar for a presidency and presidential actions had gotten, was on the line.  For 42 years, I didn’t brag, but I will say it was a point of pride to say, when the issue arose, that I had worked on Capitol Hill and then the White House (for President Ford after Nixon resigned in the aftermath of Watergate).  Now, it was an embarrassment. How can we ever think of the White House the same way again after 2016?

I needed to get a grip.

So, I went to sleep at 8 p.m. (mind you, I get up at 4 am to get to the gym by 5 so my normal bed time is 8:30, but since I’m a night owl, I don’t want to and going to bed early is a big deal for me).

I just took to my bed.

I couldn’t watch the results dribble in bit by bit by bit.  Like the 2016 election,  if there was going to be bad news, I had to let it hit me all at once in the daylight hours when I was up and about and could do other things to take my mind off it rather than see it on the way to bed where I’d lay there and stress all night long.  I’m big on a sense of history and making sure to be attentive to living it, but, I couldn’t do it this time.  Living history would have to take a back seat to my sanity.

I peeked at my phone when I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night only to realize I had the right idea.  I needed daylight to deal with this.

So, with all this going on, I did what I needed to do.  I knew what that was.

I took to my bed in the face of chaos.  I took care of myself. I just went to sleep.

It’s not escape.

It’s self-care.

I knew I’d be able to better handle it today.

And I was right.

When I awoke, I dreaded looking at my phone.  Then, I remembered I had to.  After all, I was scheduled to give commentary on Atlanta’s Public Radio station about the possible impact of the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements on the election of women in the mid-term elections in a few hours.  I needed to know what happened.

The first thing I realized was that the GA gubernatorial election was too close to call. I had wanted Abrams to win for the state’s good, but it was actually very good news that it was close enough that it couldn’t be called.  If it hadn’t been that, my fear was that it wasn’t close at all and Kemp was now governor.  After all, this is Georgia.  That hadn’t happened!  That was a good thing!  It’s one thing to be a blue person in a red state.  It’s another to have it come raining down all around you.

Then, I realized that there was no blue wave and the African American running for governor of Florida was close, but defeated.  However, on the bright side, there was, as CNN commentator  Van Jones called it, a “rainbow wave.”  That is, there had been the election of two Native American women, one of whom was not only an attorney and MMA martial arts fighter, but also a lesbian, two Muslim women, one of whom was born in Somalia and wore a hijab, the youngest member of Congress, a woman from New York, the first-ever black female from Massachusetts elected to the House, two Latinas from Texas elected to the House, and the first elected openly gay governor in the country in Colorado.  In all there were 31 new women elected to the House, joining the 67 already there. The number of women now in the House of Representatives outstripped the former number by around 10.   Not all votes are in, but 115 women won national office, 42 of whom are women of color and 4 are veterans. That was a great thing. The numbers may be comparatively small, but they are a start on America’s legislature finally beginning to look like America as should have happened long ago.  There was even a constitutional amendment in Florida to allow voting for the 4.15 million convicted felons barred for life under a Jim Crow-era law disproportionately disenfranchising minorities and Colorado abolished unpaid prison labor.  Young people voted in incredible numbers.

I now had a buffer in case the governor’s race did not turn out the way I wanted when all was said and done.  In the wee hours of the night Abrams had given to her gathered supporters with all the fire, grace, and class I’d loved about her from the moment I first saw her,  a rousing speech saying this was not over until all of the dreams in the envelopes being opened across the state (absentee, mail-in, and provisional ballots) were counted.  With only about 50,000 or so votes between her and her opponent, I appreciated her not giving up.  Even if the numbers only got them to a December 4 runoff, she knew she deserved it, she knew her voters deserved it, she knew her supporters, campaign workers and donors deserved it, and she knew the state of Georgia deserved it. We need her. She especially deserves it with all the foolishness around her opponent being responsible for voter registration rolls in the state and the ridiculous shenanigans surrounding it. Not conceding? I’m OK with it.  Fight for Georgia, Girl.  Even though I am a lawyer, I still can’t believe it is possible for someone to be running for an office and still be in charge of who gets to vote—particularly in a southern state with a history of voter suppression, and with the closed polling places, sites running out of ballots, voting machines not working, long lines and other issues traditionally experienced with voter suppression tactics. After all, this is the same state in which 7 of 9 polls in a county likely to vote for Abrams were to be closed, and on another occasion, a group of older black folks (likely Stacey voters) at the senior center, being bussed to the polls for early voting, were made to get off the bus.  I have no doubt you will do absolutely everything the law allows you to do to make sure our votes are accurately counted, Stacey.

I’m still nervous and anxious.  Especially since my daughter just informed me that the first of Trump’s post-election heads to roll was Attorney General Jeff Sessions.  I am by no means a fan, but at least he recused himself from the Russia investigation and stood up to Trump, who had continually and publicly harassed, harangued, belittled and castigated him for choosing to follow the law and recuse himself rather than be blindly loyal to Trump and position himself to interfere with the Russia investigation on Trump’s behalf.  Clearly, this, in addition to now having to deal with the fights between Trump and the newly-elected Democratic majority House that overturned the Republican one Trump enjoyed for the first half of his presidency,  it looks like even more chaos for our country is underway.

So, in the midst of this chaos and craziness, do whatever it is you need to do for you.

Not only did I go to bed at 8 pm and shield myself from the drizzle of unpleasant election results, but I also gave in and went out and got the apple fritter and coffee.

😉

P.S. Haven’t I trod this territory before?  It sounds vaguely familiar…..post-2016 election maybe…..?  :-/

 

 

 

Going with what we know

06 Saturday Jun 2015

Posted by dawndba in Uncategorized

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academia, Civil Rights Act of 1964, Clarence Thomas, democracy, EEOC, EEOC v. Abercrombie & Fitch, Employment Law, Employment Law for Business by Bennett-Alexander & Hartman, Fortune magazine, gender discrimination, hijab, implicit bias, NY Times, pictures made up of little pictures, referendum, religious discrimination, Religious Freedom Restoration Act, RFRA, sexual harassment, Title VII, U.S. Supreme Court

The Huffington Post recently ran a story about unconscious bias in the workplace and how it impacts women in something as seemingly simple as the language used in job postings.   I loved the piece and thought they did a good job of addressing some of the subtleties that make outcomes for women in the workplace —or even in the job hunt—so different than that of men.

Then I read the comments posted at the bottom in response to the article.

How depressing.

Most of them were about how stupid the research was because it meant it was saying that women weren’t capable of being the things the article said were words more likely to discourage women from applying because they understood them to mean the employer was looking for a man to fill the position. One commenter even accused academics of being the reason for this foolishness.  Disturbed, I sent the link to the head of Women’s Studies and our Vice President for Institutional Diversity and reminded them that we had so much work to do, though I know they are already intensely aware.

So much of what was said in the comments was based on misinformation that after I gave myself some time to cool down, I began writing a comment myself in order to try to bring some understanding to the issue.  As is often the case, I felt like we take our own personal reality as the entire picture and run with it.  But, what we don’t know can make a huge difference in our position.  It was clear that the commenters did not have the full picture.  But, since these are not simple issues, I found that in order to do it any justice, it would take more space than a comment should.  So, I decided to blog about it and cut and pasted it here.

I had had the same reaction earlier in the week when I read the comments in the NY Times and Fortune magazine stories about the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision in EEOC v. Abercrombie & Fitch, finding for the employee against A&F clothing stores after the applicant sued A&F when A&F refused to hire her because she wore a hijab. The hijab was in conflict with A&F’s policy of not wearing hats, regardless of whether it was for religious reasons.  They argued they shouldn’t be held responsible if she did not tell them of the religious conflict.  But no one ever asked her about it and it was clear that the interviewer suspected it was worn for religious reasons. When the interviewer’s district manager told her the rule about conflicting with their policy and she said she thought the scarf was for religious reasons, he said it didn’t matter, it violated their policy and not to hire her.  This is illegal.

In announcing the very-rare-these-days 8-1 decision, even the Supreme Court said, “This is an easy one.” Clarence Thomas was the only hold out on the decision (it pains me to even put the world “Justice” before his name—-don’t get me started on that man…).  Let me just say that in the past 20 years he’s been on the bench, I have had reason to re-think the saying I use about there always being a bright side, “even a broken watch is right twice a day.”

Easy. As well it was. The decision totally upheld the law, as well it should. If you want to change the law, have at it but that’s another issue. In its present state, this is covered by the law and the Court was right in its conclusion (I have some issue with the way it got there and the concurrences, but that’s legal stuff).

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 prohibits discrimination in the workplace on the basis of race, color, religion, national origin, and gender (including pregnancy, sexual harassment and gender identity).  Other statutes have added the categories of age, genetic predisposition and disabilities to that list.  Religious conflicts in the workplace must be accommodated by an employer unless to do so would cause the employer undue hardship.  If the employer can demonstrate that it causes undue hardship based on factors set out for determining that, the employer has no duty to accommodate.

When Title VII was enacted 51 years ago, and in the ensuing regulations set out by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) the agency responsible for enforcing the law, it was clear that if  the law was to be effective then employers would not be able to use as a defense to discrimination claims reasons such as customer preference (“No one will come to our store unless we discriminate.”—sound familiar?  It should.  It’s much like the present RFRA – Religious Freedom Restoration Act laws presently sweeping the country) or marketing schemes (“We only hire females as flight attendants because we have mostly male business travelers and that’s what attracts them to us.”).  Of course, you can easily understand why.  Since Jim Crow segregation was the law of the land at the time Title VII was passed, either formally or informally, de facto or de jure, though just as ironclad, if such defenses for employers’ discrimination had been allowed, we’d still be seeing segregated facilities today.

Religious discrimination includes not only a stated preference for one religious group  or another (fairly rare), but also conflicts in workplace policies based on religion (the usual basis).  Here, it was a policy not allowing the wearing of head gear even when it was for religious purposes.  If A&F could show that trying to accommodate the wearing of the scarf caused A&F an undue hardship, it would be able to keep its rule intact.  If not, the rule has to go.  A&F could, of course, show no undue hardship since there isn’t one as required by law.  It is simply part of a marketing scheme it prefers.  Since marketing schemes that violate Title VII are not protected by law, it had no legal basis for its refusal to hire.  Simple as that. Clear as a bell.

Or so I thought.

It was clear from the 500+  comments I read between the two pieces that very few people understand Title VII and how it operates.  They took for granted that a business’s marketing schemes and policies are somehow sacrosanct and above the law.  Once they are there, that’s it.  They must be obeyed.  That is so not true. There is no legal protection for marketing schemes or workplace policies and certainly not when they violate the law. Owning a business does not give a business owner the inalienable right to do whatever they want as many apparently thought.  They also did not realize that Title VII applies to both private as well as public employers.  And let’s not even get into their belief that religion has no place in the workplace equation at all, totally ignoring the fact that it was Congress that included the category in the law on employment discrimination i the first place—for reasons that I would hope we could all agree with.

Oh, it was ugly.

It scared me to think about this being a democracy based on people’s informed input about issues and that they could be so wrong about such a basic law that has been on the books for 51 years this July 2015.  This year is the 50th anniversary of its effective date (it was passed in July of 1964 and became effective in July 1965).   Think about what happens when people vote in a referendum or vote for candidates with such little understanding of what it is they are doing—thinking they absolutely know all there is to know.  These comments were forceful and solid and stated as fact, not opinion.

And absolutely wrong.

They were based on the commenters’ total lack of knowledge of, or misunderstanding of, the law.

The emails between my co-author and I were really spirited and interesting since we author the best-selling Employment Law text in the country.  But neither of us is eggheads up in some academic tower somewhere.  We both teach and do consulting in workplaces, so we are very much in touch with those who do not know.  We get that all the time.  That’s why we do what we do.  But the difference may be that these folks making comments not only didn’t even know they didn’t know, but they were imperious about it.  They absolutely thought they had it right.  And there were so very many of them.

So, I was still reeling from that little fiasco when when I read the comments in the Huffington Post story about the job ad language.  I think that adding to my distress was that I thought I would be reading the reactions of a group of what I would have thought would have been fairly informed, discerning, in-the-know readers, given what I perceived to be the readership of all three of those outlets.  But, there I was, hit with this latest reaction to a good and accurate piece about impediments to employment for all based on the laws on the books and it too was being lambasted.

As an “academic” accused of being responsible for attention to things that impact the workplace like the unconscious bias represented by this article, I feel the need to say something. Most of us walk around in our lives experiencing our own realities and we often don’t really think an awful lot about much outside of that. Our reality is made up of our experiences and those of our friends or others we are connected to or exposed to and it is that reality that shapes our experience and our lives. Not only do each of us have different realities, but there is also operating outside of all of this, another, greater reality made up of pretty much all of it.

It’s sort of like those pictures you’ve probably seen made up of tiny little pictures that you don’t realize are separate little photos until you get up close and see it. Each “pixel” of the photo is actually a photo itself, but they all come together to make the single photo we originally see. I think we would all agree that once we see what’s going on, we now know that there are actually two versions of what we initially thought was only one.

Most of us deal with our pixel and those around us. Academics deal with those also, but they also deal with the big picture. I think we can also agree that seeing our own pixel and even those close around us gives us one version of reality, but, as it turns out, that is not the only one. The big picture exists also. If you’re in your own pixel, it makes sense that you may not be able to see all the others that make up the entire photo—until it is brought to your attention. Much like going up in a plane gives you a very different view of where you may have been located than just walking around your neighborhood.

Again, both are accurate realities, but just different ones. We have to make sure that we understand we are operating with both. What people have said makes perfect sense in the little pixel sense. They simply don’t deal with the bigger picture that academics do. Nothing whatsoever wrong with that. But, we need to recognize the difference and also that it can impact what we know.

Those of us who study these issues understand the impact of implicit bias and how adversely it impacts women’s ability to move up in organizations the way their talents, experience and performance would otherwise have them do. Because we are teaching those about to go into this world, it pains us greatly to find what we do.  For most of us there is no negative and nefarious “agenda” that shapes what we go looking for. It’s more like the other way around, in that what we find makes us want to have an agenda so we can fix it.

Having students means we have real live people who are about to experience for themselves what we discover in our research and that hurts. We know these people.  We know how hard they’ve worked over the years to position themselves in the market, what they bring to a workplace and how much they have to offer. But, we also know the overall reality of how they will often be received.

Also, as someone who does consulting in the workplace on these issues, I also get to see it from the other side.

I listen to the managers and business owners who tell me they didn’t give a raise to the next in line who is qualified for it because it’s a woman and she’s married, so she doesn’t need the money. Or that a promotion would mean she’d have to travel and if it was his wife “he wouldn’t want her schlepping around in strange airports at all times of the night.”

At the same time, I’ve had a graduating MBA student tell me she received an offer from the place she’d been interning for a year and they told her they loved her work so much that had she been a man, they would have offered to pay her 50% more. They actually told her that.  Or the one who, at the end of the post-internship offer meeting had the owner tell her that one of the things she now needed to do as an employee is to find an apartment to rent out for them to have sex. When, confused, she said she had a house and a husband, he said “Me too. What’s your point?” Let’s not even talk about the one who arrived at work the first day, only to be told by her boss that one of her responsibilities would be to let him smell her underwear every morning.

So, for us academics to discover these things through research like that which served as the basis for the piece, or whatever other ways we discover our subject matter, and to try to do what we can to make things better, including bringing it to light, then be castigated for it by the public, is, under these circumstances, simply unknowing.  That is about as charitable as I can be.

Think about that the next time you get ready to vote on an issue or even comment on something in the public sphere.  Do you really know what you need to know in order to  have the opinion you do, or are you just using anecdotal evidence that may not be the whole story?  Or repeating what you friends or family told you as if it’s fact? And certainly before you vote on something that may deprive others of a much-needed service or take away something they need, do you really have all you need to know to vote or are you just winging it, thinking you know it all based on what your friends have said about it, or that it won’t matter in the end?  If you are mistaken in something you pass off as fact,  please remain open to the idea that someone who may know more may be able to correct you.  That’s fine.  Being corrected by someone who may know more is all part of the process of public discussion of issues of the day. Lord knows, I learn from my students and everybody else in the world every single day. And I am glad to do so. But thinking your opinion is absolutely correct and not subject to correction degrades the whole process.

It is our responsibility as participants in a democracy to base our public decisions (including comments in the public sphere) on good information and analysis.  It’s the price you pay for living in a democracy.  A dictatorship makes it nice and easy.  You don’t have to do any thinking because it’s all done for you.  But, that’s not what we do in America.  We vote on issues.  Part of that is knowing what they are in the first place and engaging in public discourse.  One of the ways to get that is to be willing to put yourself out there, then be willing to change your views as you learn additional credible information that could impact your view.

Giving both your opinion as well as the corrective information should be done in a kind, helpful, non-judgmenta, and certainly non-condescending way.  It’s just providing information.  Why are so many people so negative and nasty when they do it in these public forums?  I don’t get it.  What does it cost to be respectful to someone?  Why in the world wouldn’t you do that? Why wouldn’t we want to live in a world that treats people that way?  Why wouldn’t we ourselves do it?

If we can’t use these public forums for places of a pleasant gathering of knowledge of public information and discourse, then at the very least, don’t nastily pass off what you know as absolute, irrefutable fact.

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